All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
