i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
this will be a night to untag.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
