i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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