so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
