White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
