I can tuck mytits in my pants
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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