idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
tell me about the fingering
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
