i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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