We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
