If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
