pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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