I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize