The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
