You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Girls should come with a carfax report
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
