We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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