So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
