if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
How's work?
Spinning.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
