we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
