actually, I'm a sock model
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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