I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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