Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
