I can tuck mytits in my pants
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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