New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
