you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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