yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize