the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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