Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
