is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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