i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
