Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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