Soap is not a condiment
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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