Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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