Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
