Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
