so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
