The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Randomize