I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
