guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
