Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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