planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
