this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hello my rib-scented angel!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
