Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My ass is underappreciated
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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