Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
