you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
