That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
