her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
