Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
