i may or may not be watching the land before time
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
