Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
