When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
