I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
