I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
