My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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