I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
