dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize