turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Found your dick twin last night
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
