if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
