They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
