Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
my poor anus
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize