There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Randomize
