like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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