Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
